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Paano Maging Mas Confident: Tatlong Prinsipyong Pwede Mong Aralin Ngayon

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Ang pagkakaroon ng confidence o kumpiyansa sa iyong sarili ay nakapagbibigay ng mga bagong posibilidad, lakas ng loob para gamitin ang mga oportunidad sa paglitaw nila, at lumalaki ang pagkakataon mong magtagumpay sa mga balak mong gawin. Sa kasamaang palad, habang tayo ay nagkakamali at pumapalya sa iba’t ibang bagay (wala nga naman sa atin ang perpekto) at habang pinapahiya at dinidismaya tayo ng ibang tao, natututo tayong matakot magkamali, nawawalan tayo ng tiwala sa sarili nating kakayahan, at nananatiling mahina ang ating loob.

Paano tayo magiging mas confident? Paano natin makukuha ang uri ng tapang o lakas ng loob na makapagbibigay sa atin ng napakaraming tagumpay sa buhay? Narito ang tatlong paraan para magawa mo iyon.

Una, isang NAPAKAHALAGANG BABALA: 
Ang confidence o kumpiyansa ay HINDI recklessness o kawalang-ingat. Ang tunay na confidence ay nagmumula sa kaalaman at karunungan at ito ay nagdudulot ng mabubuting resulta. Ang recklessness o kawalang-ingat naman ay nagmumula sa ignorance o kamangmangan, at iyon ay nagdudulot ng kahihiyan at kapahamakan. Sa ibang salita, ang confidence ay ang eksperto na nagsanay sa sarili ng ilang dekada upang maging dalubhasa at umiiwas sa gulo (pero nananalo sa mga paligsahan). Ang recklessness naman ay ang asal-kalyeng mangmang na nagkukunwaring matapang, mahilig makipag-away sa ibang tao, at nabubugbog naoospital.

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How to Gain Confidence: 3 Principles You Can Learn Right Now

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Having confidence in yourself opens new possibilities, gives you the courage to take opportunities as they appear, and increases your chances of succeeding at what you want to do. Unfortunately, as we make mistakes and fail at certain things (hey, none of us are perfect) and as other people shame and discourage us, we learn to fear failure, doubt our own abilities, and become constantly discouraged.

How do we gain more confidence? How do we gain the kind of courage that will let us become more successful in life? Here are three ways you can do just that.

First, a MAJOR disclaimer: 
Confidence is NOT recklessness. True confidence is backed by knowledge and expertise and is a key to getting good results. Recklessness, on the other hand, comes from a place of ignorance and will usually lead to humiliation and disaster. In real world terms, confidence is the expert who has trained for decades to become a master and avoids trouble (but wins tournaments). Recklessness is the punk who acts tough, harasses people, and then gets his ass kicked sent to the hospital.

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Slowly Coming Out of Hiatus

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Well hello everyone! As you can see I haven’t posted anything at all recently, and that’s because of my unannounced hiatus. There was just so many things that happened in the past couple of years that my weekly writing habit and schedule broke, and I also lost most of my motivation and inspiration to write.

The good news is, I am planning to change that soon. It won’t be an instantaneous change, but there will be a positive change.

Notice: I won’t accept guest posts or answer emails for now. There are still a lot of things I need to settle before then.

What’s next?

I have just started reading a book called Atomic Habits by James Clear, and so far it contains a whole lot of useful information on how to learn new good habits as well as how to get rid of bad ones. Of course, reading alone won’t change things for the better. We need to ACT and CHANGE if we want things in our life to improve, and that’s what I intend to do. 

While I won’t attempt to make several drastic changes and overwhelm myself, I will attempt to make a lot of small incremental improvements that add up over time. I’ll slowly but surely get back into writing to give useful life-changing lessons for you soon. Stay tuned!

Successful people are simply those with successful habits.

Brian Tracy

On a side note, I’m also working on a new hiking article on my other blog, OneAdventurer.com. That article about Mt. Gulugod-baboy is pretty much done except for some final proofreading. The next thing that may take a lot of time would be the picture edits. If you’re interested in learning about local hiking areas in the Philippines as well as some tips and tricks for beginners, go check out my other blog: OneAdventurer.com!

Tatlong Dahilan Kung Bakit Kailangan mong Pag-isipan ang Iyong Pagkatao sa Iyong Kinabukasan

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Hindi ko alam kung bakit, pero para sa akin kapansin-pansin ang pamagat ng libro na Personality isn’t Permanent (ni Dr. Benjamin Hardy, PhD). Hindi ko muna ito binili, pero nanatili ito nang matagal sa aking isipan. Buti na lang, pagdaan ng ilang buwan, may malaking discount at naging mas mura ang digital Kindle version nito kaya nabili ko siya agad.

Tama nga ang kutob ko. Mayroon ngang napakahalagang aral doon tungkol sa ating personal growth at self-improvement (pagpapabuti sa ating pagkatao) at natuwa ako nang husto dahil sa mga natutunan ko doon.

Ang pangunahing punto ng librong iyon, kung babasahin mo ang pamagat niya, ay nagbabago ang ating personality o pagkatao habang nagdadaan ng panahon. Kung iisipin mo, totoo naman diba? Ilang matatanda na nagtratrabaho na ngayon ang kapareho pa rin noong nasa high school sila? Ilang mga taong nasa kwarenta anyos na ngayon ang pareho pa rin ang pagkatao noong bente anyos pa lang sila? Malamang kakaunti lamang. Ang mahiyaing introvert ay pwedeng maging matatag na pinuno, at ang mahilig magparty at walang bahala sa buhay ay pwedeng maging mas mapag-isip na intelektwal. Halata naman na ang mga tao ay magiging mas-mature habang tumatanda diba?

Gayunpaman, pag-isipan mo ito.

Ilan ang nagkaroon ng masamang ugali dahil sa trauma na nangyari noong sila ay bata pa? Ilan ang mga na-bully noong kanilang kabataan kaya sila’y naging sobrang mahinhin, o naging mapang-abuso sa trabaho? Ilan ang bumagsak sa mga tests sa iskwelahan, napagalitan ng sobra, naisip sa sarili na “hindi talaga ako matalino” at naitatak ito sa kanilang utak? Ilan ang hindi makasabay sa kanilang mga kaibigan sa sports kaya tumatak ang “hindi talaga ako magaling” sa kanilang self-image o paningin sa sarili? Ilang mga mapang-abusong mga magulang ang naging ganoon dahil inabuso din sila noong sila’y bata pa?

Kung mayroon tayong mga masasamang karanasan at mga trauma katulad ng mga iyon, pinipigilan kaya nila tayong subukan ang ilang panibagong bagay, tulad ng mga mabubuting gawain at libangan (habits and hobbies), na makakapagpabuti nang husto sa ating buhay? Pinipigilan kaya nila tayong magsimula dahil iniisip natin na ang mga epekto ng mga masasamang karanasang iyon ay bahagi na ng ating pagkatao (personality) habang-buhay (permanent)?

Iyon ang pinakamahalagang aral sa librong iyon tungkol sa ating psychology. Nagbabago tayo habang nagdadaan ang panahon, at pwede nating KONTROLIN ang mga pagbabagong iyon. Pwede nating piliin kung anong bahagi ng ating pagkatao ang gusto nating baguhin at pagbutihin. Walang permanente sa ating pagkatao o personality, lalong lalo na ang ating mga masasamang asal at trauma.

Pwede tayong maging mas-confident/malakas ang loob, mas mapagbigay, at mas mature kung ginusto natin. Pwede tayong maging disiplinado at mas matapang upang tayo ay magtagumpay sa mga pinapahalagahan natin sa buhay, tulad ng ating mga career/trabaho, relationships, kalusugang pisikal at emosyonal, at marami pang iba.

Bago natin magawa iyon, kailangan nating isipin kung anong klaseng tao ang gusto nating maging. Kailangan nating seryosohin at pagplanuhang mabuti ang ating magiging pagkatao sa ating kinabukasan.

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Three Reasons Why You Should Think about Your Future Self

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There was something about the title Personality isn’t Permanent (by Dr. Benjamin Hardy, PhD) that really got my attention. I didn’t buy it at first, but something about it stayed in my mind. Thankfully, a few months later the digital Kindle version had a huge discount so I bought it right away. 

My intuition was right. That book DID contain some extremely valuable lessons on personal growth and self-improvement and I’m very glad to have learned about them.

The main point of the book, if you haven’t guessed from the title, is that our personalities change over time. If you think about it, it’s pretty obvious. How many working adults are the same as who they were back in high school? How many 40-year olds are exactly the same as their 20-year old selves? Most likely very few. Extremely shy introverts can become outgoing leaders, and reckless party animals can become more intellectual and contemplative. Obviously, people mature and grow over time, right?

Think about this though.

How many of us develop some negative personality traits because of some trauma from our childhood? How many of us who have been bullied as kids grow up to become extremely shy and reserved, or become bullies at work? How many of us failed some tests, got scolded by our parents, and had the thought “I’m not very smart” etched into out minds? How many of us couldn’t keep up with other kids at sports and had “I’m not strong or athletic” marked into our self-image? How many abusive adults were the result of their parents abusing them as children?

Are those bad experiences and traumas holding us back from trying new things, such as good habits and hobbies that can improve our lives, because we think the effects of those traumatic events are a part of our personalities and are therefore “permanent”?

That is the most important lesson within that psychology book. We grow and change over time, and we can CONTROL that change. We can choose what part of ourselves we want to change for the better. Nothing in our personalities are permanent—not even our toxic habits and traumas.

We can be more confident, more generous, and more emotionally mature if we really want to. We can be the kind of person who is disciplined and courageous enough to succeed at what we value, such as our careers, relationships, physical and mental health, and more.

To do that, however, we have to imagine what kind of person we want to become. We have to seriously start thinking and planning our future selves.

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