As we grew up, we learned that certain bad habits can bring disaster and that we should avoid them at all costs. We learned that smoking can cause cancer, that leading a sedentary lifestyle and eating unhealthy food brings all sorts of diseases, and that bad financial habits lead to money problems. Aside from those, there is one psychological habit that’s just as horrible. If you have a habit of complaining about problems and inconveniences every change you get, you could be setting yourself up for failure. Here are three BIG reasons why you should stop complaining as soon as possible!
There’s a famous 1960’s study where a Harvard professor named Robert Rosenthal researched on the effects of teachers’ expectations on students. He gave a standard IQ test to elementary children, selected some ordinary kids at random, and told teachers that those few students will soon become very intelligent. Sure enough, after two years, the selected students DID indeed show an increase in IQ.
As Rosenthal’s research continued, he found that the teachers’ expectations affected their interactions with those randomly selected students. Those kids that the teachers expect to succeed were given “more time to answer questions, more specific feedback, and more approval: They consistently touch, nod and smile at those kids more.” In short, expectations affected their behavior, and their behavior affected their results. They expected the kids to do well, so they behaved in ways that made the kids do better.
So what does this story have to do with you? It’s simple. Your expectations about YOURSELF affects your behavior. Whether you know it or not, you act in ways that will make your expectations reality. Your entire life is a reflection of your thoughts.
Why is this important? If you want to avoid a life of failure and you want to improve the quality of your life, you need to learn how to control your thoughts and improve your expectations.
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“The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire, not things we fear.” – Brian Tracy
Did you know that setting “goals” like “I want to be happy” or “I want to be rich” are a recipe for disaster? No, I’m not saying that because they’re impossible to achieve, it’s that they’re so vague that they won’t give you any information that you can actually act upon. Aside from that, they have no end point to let you know when you’ve finally accomplished the goal. If you want to achieve the things you want and become successful at something, then you must learn how to set goals in life properly. Study this article well, and create your goals based on the principles here!
“Lack of direction, not lack of time, is the problem. We all have twenty-four hour days.” – Zig Ziglar
“Think you are weak, think you lack what it takes, think you will lose, think you are second class – think this way and you are doomed to mediocrity.” – David J. Schwartz, The Magic of Thinking Big
A couple of weeks ago my friend invited me to Ninja Academy in Las Pinas to practice parkour. If you don’t know what that is yet, imagine how people run through obstacles in action movies. Just play this video a bit to see what it’s like:
More than just some cool new tricks, you can learn a lot more from parkour (and other sports) if you pay close attention. These are the some of the lessons you can learn from a few hours of training:
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Do you know a friend or coworker who is fun to hang out with? Someone who, whenever you have a problem, they’re always there to help or at least cheer you up? On the other hand, maybe you also know someone who only brings negativity to your life. Someone who makes fun of you whenever you make a mistake or guilt trip you into giving them favors. Imagine you are going to recommend one of them for a raise or promotion. Most likely, you’ll recommend the good friend and not the bully. Well if you want to get good karma and be given more good opportunities in life, you’ll have to be the good friend to everyone.
Whether it’s for your business, career, or your friends and family, getting people to like us is a skill we need to succeed and have excellent relationships. Unfortunately, too many people try to force it with flattery and manipulation. If you want to make people like you, then you need to do it the right way: through kindness and goodwill. These are the five lessons you need to learn now.